Oh The Humanity!



I had intended to write a big long post to wrap up the last twenty days of what has been an experience that I will never forget and will be going over in my head for days, and months to come, I'm sure. I wouldn't go back and change my time with these guys for anything, but if I'm totally honest, it was really hard work and pretty much sucked every last bit of energy out out of me. It was just pure luck that the last show on the tour was in London, so when it was all over I could wrap it all up, say my goodbyes and jump straight into my own bed. We arrived at the O2 Academy in the morning on the 19th of Dec, It was unbelievably cold outside and the thought of unloading ice cold metal cases without any gloves was not on my "things to do before I die" list. No, I don't have any gloves nor do I own anything waterproof and I live in England, don't ask, I don't know.

Everything was fine, same deal as every other show, unload, unpack, set up, plug in, tune and then beer. I hadn't really eaten much of anything over the previous day or so other than an unfortunate visit to Burger King, and a hastily ordered thing that vaguely resembled pizza. Anyway about twenty minutes to showtime and something unholy and wrong started to happen. I could entertain you with a long descriptive story about the how the next two hours consisted of 1) Trying not to sh*t my pants. 2) Projectile vomiting every five seconds. 3) laying on the dressing room sofa wondering if I might actually die, and should I be calling 999? I don't know if you have ever had severe food poisoning or not, but I highly recommend avoiding it at all costs, it sucks with a capitol "S"! Other than lying on the couch moaning and barfing, my memories are pretty spotty, I do remember some random guy walking into the dressing room and saying "Man, your burning the candle at both ends buddy" WTF?! Does he think I'm ODing or something? I mean, I definitely have hell coming out of both ends, but I'm certainly not burning the candle at both ends. Give me some credit, please! So Show finally over, with some seriously needed help from the other guys on the crew we packed it all up, put it in the van and off I went to suffer privately at home. So anyway that is how I ended my last show, not terribly glamorous or glitzy, but definitely memorable.

Taking the band to the airport was my very last on the job responsibility the next morning. I diligently woke up feeling a bit better but still very rough. When your this sick everything you do, every step you take, becomes a very deliberate and calculated routine. "Keep it simple El Guapo, keep it simple" get dressed, shoes, coat, hat, keys and "OH MY GOD I JUST SHAT MY PANTS!" So with a mixture of tears and "you have got to be kidding me" laughter, I trudged my way back upstairs to start the process over again minus the last step. As pathetic as a 40 year old man crapping in his trousers can be, I still don't think I would change a thing about my entire experience.

So it's over. I'm honestly really happy it is, not in a bad way, but in the same way that any traveler eventually longs for the familiarity and comfort of home. I met some amazing people and some people that I will never, ever share a hotel room with again! But even that guy, had nice things to say to me in the end, so I'm left scratching my head on that one. I was given the opportunity to see places I never thought I'd see, and most importantly I was taking part in something that I love more than anything, music. I'll save that for another post, but I think it's really important for me to say here, that yes, I took the job because I needed the money, But more importantly I did it because I can't think of another thing in my life that speaks to every part of me and brings me more unadulterated joy than being involved with music. Even that description can't really adequately describe it. Thanks Dominic, for throwing this my way, how you do this work regularly as a living is beyond me, it's tougher than I am for sure. I think I'll stick to part time.

This is not the end of The Adventures of Senor El Guapo by a long shot, there are a billion more adventures to be had and I guarantee I have a billion more opinions to unleash about them. So please stay tuned! Life is never boring, it's not always fun and happy either, but boring it is not. Boredom is self imposed, if your paying attention and your eyes are open, then there is always something to learn about yourself and about the world. Something I have learned over the years is that we need to look outside ourselves, sometimes in the most literal sense, Just look out the window see what's happening out there. You'd be surprised what you will find.

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